Sharon Denise Allison-Ottey
Ask Dr. Sharon

Sex Tips from Dr. Sharon for Guys and Girls

Posted by Dr. Sharon (sdao) on Apr 01 2008
Ask Dr. Sharon >> Ask Dr. Sharon

Let's start with the Guys!

1.  SLOW down; this isn't a race.  Take your time and savor the moment. You have to REALLY work on this;  say to yourself--"SLOWWW DOWNNN"  try deep breathing or whatever it takes.

2. Take a SHOWER and BRUSH YOUR TEETH; while sex can be wild and fun--no one wants a smelly beast with bad breath. 

3. Remember that you do have a PARTNER and that it isn't only about your pleasure.  Look at your partner and  for goodness sake don't ask her to "say my  name", don't you know your name?  Special tip: The more you "give" the more you shall "receive"!

4. Condoms are your friend, especially if you aren't in a monogamous relationship or you BOTH haven't  been tested for HIV/AIDS and other STDS.  The other benefit of condoms;  they may "prolong" your erection.

5.  Every man has been a little "quick" on the trigger at some time.   Its normal so don't beat yourself up.  However, don't act like it didn't happen;  you both know that it was just 8 seconds and even if she screamed with you-- it wasn't because it  was the most pleasurable 8 seconds of her life.   She was just being...hmmmm merciful. There are techniques and tools to address premature ejaculation, ignoring the problem isn't one of them.

Golden Rule for Men:  If you have to ASK; she DIDN'T.

A special word to the brothers: If you're looking for your sexual conquests  to make you feel like a man then I hate to tell you that you're still but a child.  Women will eventually see through the game and you may end up a lonely old man that's still a boy because you never grew up.  Sex is exciting, fun, fulfilling and a pleasure that you are meant to enjoy.  However, sex for the sake of your ego is empty, immature and dangerous. 


Now the Girls ! 

1. Don't ask  "Does this make me look fat?"  He really doesn't care and is ready to see you naked. If you're thinking about how you look in bed then you can't  be free to enjoy sex.

2.  Condoms are NOT an option if you aren't in a monogamous relationship or have doubts.  If you're comfortable enough to have sex with him then you should be  comfortable enough to buy a condom and tell him to use it. 

3.  Take a BATH and BRUSH your teeth. (same as the guys)

4. Take a NAP;  you need a some rest so that you can engage in sexual activity.  Don't lay there like a dead fish, not sexy and not fun.

5.  Cut the PRODUCTION; sometimes a "quickie" is fun, exciting and better yet-- lets you get some more sleep.  You don't need the candles, music, grapes, whipped cream, lingerie, love yous and all that all the time!  Give me a break and give the brother a break! 

GOLDEN RULE FOR WOMEN:  Don't FAKE it!  You are lying to him and yourself--he’ll roll over and think that he is Casanova and NEVER try to do better. At the same time; don’t belittle or demean him-- teach him.

 A special word for the sisters 'cause I love ya!  There is this attitude of ”giving him a piece"; yes I said it.  This is really insane-- only prostitutes have sex for money, clothes or things.  Sex is an expression of mutual animal attraction, lust, biology and hopeful love; it is not a bargaining chip.  To withhold sex from your mate to try to "keep him in check" is the quickest way to invite resentment, hostility and yes another woman (or man).  Further, it kills your own libido.  Sex is a gift from God that is supposed to be fun and fulfilling; not a weapon or monetary exchange.  I'm just saying....... 


Last changed: Apr 01 2008 at 9:42 AM


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